OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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