and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
