i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
