THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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