normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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