Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
