it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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