I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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