She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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