what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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