Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
