You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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