Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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