Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
