I look better un-naked...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize