I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
