Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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