Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize