He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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