Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
