Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I think your dad took our porno
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
If I die, sorry about rent.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
