Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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