I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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