What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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