we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
