She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
