no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize