He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
