Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
