batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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