I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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