so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
