just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
