He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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