I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
