I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
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