Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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