shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Dicks are not precious.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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