They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
