VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
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