capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
