..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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