i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize