i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He has the fingertips of a God
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
