I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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