Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
