yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
