i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
