can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
