he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize