I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize