He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
