This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
did you just send me my own nude
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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