Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
