Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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