I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize