Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
