why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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