just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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