five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
