That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
