My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
