So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
