I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize