That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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