3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
