Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
No more Irish car bombs ever.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
