I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
