I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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