I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
