Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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