ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
True college students do jello shots in the library
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
