I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
