Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
